I keep on keeping on. Enjoy what you love

I have been a busy person this past couple of weeks. Nope it wasn’t red hatting. Well in a way it was but not me going out and enjoying myself. But I was staying in and enjoying myself.

You see I have a few projects on the go and was hoping to get some headway on these projects. Once I get these underway or finished I have so many other ideas I want to do. I am a crafting addict. I love crafting. It keeps me sane. It makes me feel as I am doing something in life.

You see I am a sixty some year young lady. Retired, yes I am. When I first quit my job as I was not able to do it anymore due to my fibromyalgia. I was in pain, I was in many different mood swings, I was not able to concentrate anymore. I was in brain fog. Above all I was making customers mad at me. Well that’s what I thought anyways. I just could not do the job anymore. So I took a leave of absence and had three months to figure out if I could go back after a rest or if this was it.

Well after the three months I walked back into the store and said I was finished. I did screw myself a little as a couple of months after that the store cleared out some people and did payouts to them. So I kinda could have kept on working for a couple of months and then would have been given a buyout. Well it didn’t happen. I knew I wouldn’t last in there anymore so it was my loss. Oh well life goes on and for the first little while I really thought what the hell did I just do? I have no pay coming in. I have nothing in my life anymore to go to. You see at one time I did love my job. I went there and I had people to talk to every day. I was out there in the world working. Then one day I just said chuck it and quit as I knew I could not do it anymore.

Okay what the heck was I thinking and now what the heck am I going to do. I can’t work anymore. There is no job out there that would take me on. They could not rely on me. Some days i was so out of it that I had to sleep. I would be sitting on the couch and all of a sudden I had to put my head down and go to sleep. Other days brain fog would crawl in and I would be so brain dead I didn’t know what was going on. Then there where the days I was just fine and kept thinking well maybe I could do it again and go to work. Then the cycle would start all over again and I would just feel like shit. No way I could work under these circumstances.

So for the first little while I sat on my duff feeling sorry for myself and going out to as many red hatting events as I could go to. Then there was the mall walking I use to do when I was younger and not working. That lead to shopping, which in turn would lead to purchases. That would lead to trouble. Just to be out in the world and seeing people. Well I wasn’t going down that route again.

So crafting came back into my life. I was told to give it up. You make something and then it sits here collecting dust. I gave away most of my crafting projects. Presents to friends, family and such. Finally everyone had something I had made and I just didn’t think they would want something else from me. I tried for a bit to see if I could sell my things, but that certainly did not work out. I went to craft fairs and paid more for the table then I did in what I brought back in. It was frustrating. I was loosing more money then I was trying to bring in. I really didn’t know how anyone did it. I see the same people at most craft fairs and they come back year after year to sell their wares.

I finally gave up on that idea. I did it for a couple of years while I was still working and did for a couple of years afterwards and then finally gave in and said not a way to do it.

I still wanted to craft. It is something in me that just wants to make things and play around and see if I can do it. So I started with another idea that would keep me busy. There are allot of places out there that take donations. Now me not making much money right now and still wanted to craft. How do I make this so. I can’t be buying material and yarn just to give these items away to needy organizations. So my next thought was other ladies craft. They have left over items like yarn and material that they do not know what to do with afterwards and gathers in their closets. So I tried a notice on Facebook to my friends. If they had leftovers I would love to take them off their hands and I would put them to good use. I never thought it would happen but I got a great response to reusing yarn and material. I could make blankets, touques, mittens and donate off to organizations that will take it.i was on a win win situation. I would get my supplies for free , I was crafting and then these items I make would be donated off and I was out nothing to keep myself in crafting. Also my crafted items would not be sitting around our house collecting dust in a bin someplace.

So for anyone who has donated yarn and material to me. I thank you so much for keeping my sanity and keeping my hands busy. Another win to my hands being busy crafting I do not go to the fridge every few minutes to see if there is anything there to eat. I would have been a two ton Tessie by now if I didn’t keep my hands busy.

Here is a few of the items I have made. Some of these have been donated as gifts to red hat events as well. So not all have gone to needy organizations, but allot have.

So now I had these two rooms downstairs that I work in. Crammed full of my stuff. There was my red hat stuff and my crafting stuff. I had boxes and boxes of thing down in these two rooms. It was cramped, but it was a place for me to work. Things would migrate upstairs. And I would have stuff in the living room so I could work on them. Then I would have to go down stairs and grab something and bring it up stairs to where I working and more stuff would migrate upstairs. The living room ended up being a craft area.

Okay something had to give here. I couldn’t have this stuff up stairs or someone else was soon gonna start telling me to get rid of it again.

Well I finally got to expand my craft area downstairs. A room down there became available and I went with it. All before hubby had ideas of turning it into a shop area for tools that where in the garage. I took the area over. Tore up the old carpet, took out a couple of walls, bought and old wooden table, brought a comfy chair downstairs and put in a new floor. I then pulled hats out of boxes and bought shelves. I brought all my craft items out of boxes and put them on shelves. All things where organized. I found things I had forgotten about. I found things that I had to buy again because I couldn’t find the first one. I hung my hats on the wall and set up a tv down there with DVD player, satellite box and a streaming device.

Women cave here it is

It is rough looking, but it is my place. My women cave. A place where I can create. A place where I can be and watch what I want. A place where everything is I want in life. I am in my glory down there.

Hubby was gone for a week. He went to visit family. I would get up early in the morning and no one would see me again until it was time to go to bed. The lights came on upstairs and I would head for bed. Just to be up early the next morning and back down stairs to my haven.

Hubby goes to work in the morning. I am up about an hour later. Have my breakfast and then head down stairs. The streaming device comes on and I binge watch tv all day. I create while the tv is blaring in the background. I am working away until it hits four o’clock and I have to leave my domain and go back up stairs to make supper. Sometimes I just so hate to leave this place.

I have created down there. The dogs sitting beside me on the couch. I get up to go to the table or the sewing machine and the dogs move into my spot on the couch. I go back to the couch to crochet or to hand sew something and I have to move the dogs to sit down again. They love it as much as I do down there. Or it is they just want to be close to me. But every time I go down there they are right on my heals. When it is warmer the back door is opened and they can come and go as they please outside or inside.

So for the past week I have been snow bound in the house. Hubby goes to work but I am not able to get out. My poor bug would not do the snow that is falling. It keeps coming and coming. We get a reprieve and then the wind comes in. Then it snows again. We have wet heavy snow here in lower BC. Shoveling is a rotten job. It is so heavy and just piles upon piles of snow. So I am house bound.

After hubby leave I am down stairs. I don’t really know the time. I just keep working away on my project until the alarm goes off to say I have to go back upstairs. Tv goes off and I trudge my way up the stairs wishing I could still be down stairs crafting away. I can loose myself down there. The day goes by so fast and I get closer to finishing a project. my routine is set through the week, but then the weekend comes and my routine has to change.

So now it is the weekend. Hubby is home and we have to do family time. I will not be down in my room for a few days. There will be the routine of grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, cooking and such. I crave for my craft room, but go with the fact I can sit on the couch upstairs and crochet away at night while he has on the tv of shitty shows and reads his book. So I will work on an Afghan and crochet away. plan on my next project I can do when I am next downstairs.

This is my latest project. Will be done in a few weeks. Since I took this picture a whale has been added and I have a dolphin I am working for the other side to add. Upstairs I am working on beavers.

These are leggless and armless as yet, but I am making allot of them. Something to do while I am upstairs and does not take up allot of room to work on. Every now and then have to walk downstairs and get another ball of yarn.

Well I guess I am on here as I wanted to rant a bit. As the weekend has come and my time is not mine for a few days.

So now I say retired I have nothing to do. Well I do and I am so happy with what I choose to do. Now I just hope that when hubby retires that he will find something to do as well. If not all this will go to the wayside as we will do what he wants to do leaving me frustrated again.one more year for him to figure it out, but all I hear right now is travel, we should sell the house and buy a motor home, we will buy a boat and be out on the lake every day. We will spend togetherness. What the heck am I to do with that. There is no me in there. There is no red hatting. There is no crafting. I do not want to loose myself again. I was not in a good place with that. I am happy now, why would I change back to the past.

Alas things may change, but I hope to fight to keep me in the picture. There is so much I want to do and love. For now I will do and see what will come with the future.

So that is it for now. My frustration is a brewing as his retirement gets closer. For now though I will do what I love to do and keep on keeping on. Enjoying the life I have.

Talk to you later

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